You don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life… You don’t have to make room for people who cause you pain… It’s one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change… But if a person disregards your feelings…they need to go. – Danielle Koepke.
So, today I really just want to carry on from my last post. In my last post, I talked about friendship, what it meant to me and my road to figuring out when and how to walk away from a friendship. There were a lot of questions left unanswered in that post. However, I feel like I finally have an answer to one of the questions; “how do you know when to walk away from a friendship?”
I find it very difficult to walk away from a friendship for different reasons. A lot of them surround the fact that I might have been friends with the person for a long time. So, there is a lot of history. Another problem I have with walking away is just the simple act of caring. Obviously, having been friends with this person, I care about them. So, what usually happens is; they do something wrong, I get upset, they apologise, I forgive and generally forget and we’re back to being good friends again. But then it happens again, and again, and again…..
This time, I wanted things to be different because I was tired of the constant upset. I needed things to be different and I guess that was my reason behind the last post. It was while replying to a comment on the last post that a lightbulb went off in my head. The comment said “Knowing what you want in a friend or expect from a friend should make the decision easier”. I read the comment and thought ‘I already know what I want in a friend, so why isn’t the decision easier?’ This was when it hit me.
The decision was never going to be easy. Especially if it is someone that you truly care about, someone you have shared plenty memories with. It’s never going to be easy to cut them off. However, what makes it a little bit easier is recognising your worth and realising that you deserve to be treated better. No one deserves to be treated badly. A good friend lifts you up, they don’t put you down. You’re not a doormat and you shouldn’t let anyone treat you like one. It is possible to forgive from a distance, care from a distance. A distance far enough for their actions not to have an impact on you.
It is in realising this, that I made the decision to keep a good distance. I’m not angry, and I’m not holding a grudge. I just know that I’m worth being treated better, so I’m going to take myself out of the situation.
Till next time