“she needed a hero, so that’s what she became”
During the past week, I watched two movies in which the main female characters were subjected to domestic abuse. Although there were other factors surrounding the abuse, I noticed that there was one common denominator. Finance! Both women were worried about how they would manage themselves financially if they abandoned the relationship. Before I go any further, I want to point out that this post is not about domestic abuse. This post is about independence.
The movie reminded me of a conversation I had with an acquaintance. Let’s call her Jane. Jane is married with two children. It could be three now, I’m not sure. Jane is a full-time housewife or Domestic Engineer, as I like to call it. She holds no qualifications and as far as I know has no job skills. During my conversation with Jane, she made a comment that left me pondering. We were talking about our different paths in life. I was studying for my degree and she was making babies. I’m not sure what led to the comment but she basically said that she didn’t need a degree because her husband had one. As I said earlier, this situation left me puzzled. I wasn’t aware that one could inherit a degree or that one could borrow it. If someone had told me that, I would have stayed at home too. Why bother going through all that work, when you can just borrow your husband’s?
Jane’s husband is educated; he can hopefully get a good job with his degree. So, why would she need to go get another degree? It would only be a waste of time and money, as she plans on staying at home with the kids full-time, right? WRONG!!!
None of us knows what tomorrow holds. Jane doesn’t know what her husband is going to decide tomorrow. It is possible that she could be lucky and blessed enough to never need financial independence from her husband. But what if she’s not? What happens if her husband ups and leaves? What happens if she NEEDS to leave? No one goes into a marriage planning to exit. But it happens every day for various reasons. You do not want to be stuck in a horrible situation because of financial reasons. But apart from that, what about your independence?
I’m not saying, don’t become a Domestic Engineer. In fact, I honestly think it’s one of the most difficult and rewarding jobs out there. I’m also not saying that getting a degree is the be all and end all. What I’m saying is to be aware that things do not always go according to plan and so one should have a backup plan. And that backup plan should not be in the form of a man. If things go haywire, you want to be able to stand on your own two feet. Also, I know that sometimes life happens, and so one might not necessarily have a backup plan for various reasons. However, it’s never too late to put something in place. This post is for those that have made the decision to sit down comfortably at home without having something to fall back on. Don’t wait until things collapse. Be ready to be your own hero.
What are your thoughts?
Till next time